Murphy always get's credit for smart-ass comments. Are these all murphy's laws or just observed truisms

n  A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.  

n  Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. 

n  The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. 

n  You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. 

n  Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. 

n  Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other. 

n  When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. 

n  If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

n  If at first you don't succeed, give up sky diving. 

n  There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. 

n  Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many. 

n  Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back. This is what I’m doing wrong. 

n  Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.” 

n  Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. 

n  To err is human, to forgive is not company policy. 

n  Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing. 

n  Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. 

n  The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired. 

n  There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over. 

n  The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T …). 

n  If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. 

n  You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. 

n  People are always available for work in the past tense. 

n  If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. 

n  At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. 

n  When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried. 

n  You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. 

n  No one gets sick on Wednesdays. 

n  When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?” 

n  The longer the title, the less important the job. 

n  Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives. 

n  An “acceptable” level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. 

n  Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 

n  All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one’s own. 

n  Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.