My Blog Site - Washington Post Word competition

My Blog Site

whsblog.com OHS and Safety

My Blog Site whsblog.com

Anything of interest to the OHS Committee in NSW,

People at work, Safety, Travel and anything quirky or funny.

Washington Post word competition and annual neologism contest

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

A two line rhyme with the most romanticfirst line, and least romantic second line

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

OHS and safety blog

Newsletter

I Speak My Mind

◦	Do you drop your dacks at work
◦	Whats for breakfast
◦	Go Home. Stop those long overtime hours
◦	Benifits of Booze
◦	Stop Laughing and start living
◦	Don’t become a victim of the ‘Streisand Effect’
◦	Tell the boss to turn-it-down
◦	Coffe, Cancer and Chaos
◦	Weddings should be banned
◦	The Laws of the Universe - or Murphy was an Optomist
◦	Is it time to tell the boss to get ..........

The Law - Act, Regulations, Codes of Practice

Case studies - WHS through the cases - Australia

◦	Jail plus $1m fine
◦	Category 1 offence
◦	$1.3m penalty for death of a worker
◦	$10m Undertaking
◦	Farting at work
◦	Playing cricket is work
◦	Chain of command
◦	Accident on way home was found to a connection to work
◦	Worker impaled by reinforcing bar
◦	Unfair Dismissal at end of fixed term contract
◦	Sexual assault in hospital
◦	First_cat_1_Offence_in_NSW
◦	Record NSW WHS Penalty
◦	Who is Engaged as a Worker?
◦	Record Victorian penalty
◦	When are you at work?
◦	Fall at work. $688,000 compensation
◦	Record penalty against businessman for underpayment
◦	Rise in manslaughter cases
◦	Ladder use - training not required
◦	Make sure that your defence team knows the right numbers
◦	Telling a ‘porky’ won’t bring home the bacon
◦	Employment agency not vicariously liable
◦	Tourist dies whilst on tour in Northern Territory
◦	The cost of failing
◦	Suspended gaol term
◦	Enforceable undertaking
◦	Lifting of boxes is part of normal office work
◦	Should you be terminated for swearing at the boss, or kissing a colleague
◦	Who is NOT an officer of a PCBU.
◦	Powers of WorkCover NSW to force a company to produce documents
◦	Ensuring safety
◦	Can unreasonable behaviour be insured
◦	Is it forseeable?
◦	Employee responsible for own safety.
◦	HSR loses unfair dismissal case
◦	Transport company, and the director, fined for false records
◦	Hume doors enforceable undertaking
◦	Theft_of_data
◦	What_is_reasonable
◦	When a frolic is not compensatable!
◦	117 Workers found guilty
◦	Fired for doing a chicken dance
◦	Sexual harassment worker wins after appeal
◦	Enforceable Undertaking in glass factory
◦	Injured worker caught playing competative basketball
◦	Claim 19 years after death
◦	Throwing Stones – Not the Right Answer
◦	Employer beats OHS charge
◦	Beware of hot water before you land in it.
◦	Is 'lippy' a cure for bullying?
◦	Does a principal contractor have a responsibility to train a sub-contractor
◦	What constitutes 'reasonable'
◦	Be Polite
◦	Big payout for sexual harassment
◦	Sex not work - High Court decides
◦	Court defends HSR's actions
◦	What is acceptable alternative work
◦	Worker crushed by machine safe system failed
◦	Is it work? The courts don't always agree
◦	How not to break an egg
◦	Is drinking coffee work?
◦	Lifting copy paper nets almost $240k
◦	Baida Chickens
◦	Machinery supplier fined over amputation
◦	Director is not 'too remote' from the company
◦	The Kirk Case
◦	Bunnings and the Potting Mix
◦	Hazardous Hairdresser and OHS
◦	Robbery at Franklins
◦	Fosters $1.25m penalty
◦	Self employed - Safety for the disobedient

Stories from around the world

◦	UK Company pays 1 million pounds
◦	Hotel workers to wear panic buttons
◦	Royal Opera House made to face the music
◦	When can work be a smoko?
◦	penalty reduced on financial grounds
◦	Star Wars Film Producers Prosecuted
◦	Electromagnetic fields harmful to your health
◦	Warning to Welders
◦	A big payout for two four two letter words
◦	Green Tea can improve brain function
◦	Don't bully the boss
◦	When is a mother not a mother
◦	Obesity and work - the connection
◦	New Zealand to adopt Australian WHS law
◦	How I Broke My Collar Bone
◦	The church thatdoes not believe in prayer, and the whore house that does
◦	OHS Consultant fined for being unqualified
◦	Prison for OHS fraud
◦	What is sex discrimination worth?
◦	Don't get Cross about a Cross
◦	Fired for being too sexy
◦	Is lactation a condition of pregnancy
◦	Email From Home results in sacking
◦	Compo case while working from home
◦	Top ten US causes of workplace injury
◦	Drug testing and the story of a false 'you know what'
◦	Does your company have a love contract?
◦	Unknown worker retires
◦	The crazy world of Britain's OHS Regulations
◦	Buffered for Morale, or getting it all off

Stories from around Australia

◦	Who is looking after those that look after us.
◦	Drug vapours threaten life of police officer
◦	Urine testing banned
◦	Discriminatory Conduct
◦	Coles fined $170 000
◦	Unfair Dismissals
◦	Sex on a business trip
◦	Director acquitted and charged after appeal
◦	Telstra employee injured while working from home
◦	Jail sentence for OHS offence
◦	20 20 Hindsight
◦	OHS in a Brothel

Resources

◦	Pin Decision Tree
◦	Site Inspection Form

Communication

◦	Impromptu Speaking
◦	Retorts and Witticisms
◦	Washington Post Word competition
◦	Quotes1
◦	Quotes2
◦	Quote3

Legislation- codes of practice - fact sheets

◦	Legislation and Codes of Practice
◦	Fact Sheets and Statistics
◦	WHS Decision Tree

Accident Investigation and Reporting and Management Theories

◦	The concept of empowerment
◦	The Heinrich Law
◦	The five why technique
◦	Fishbone or 'Ishikawa technique'
◦	William_Edwards_Deming
◦	P_D_C_A
◦	Risk_Matrix

Just for fun

◦	SDS for hazardous material:- Man and Woman
◦	Murphy was an optomist
◦	OHS Humour
◦	Jokes you could tell in church
◦	When U Black, You Black
◦	Brain Teasers
◦	BrainTeaser 1
◦	BrainTeaser 2
◦	BrainTeaser 3
◦	BrainTeaser 4
◦	BrainTeaser 5
◦	BrainTeaser 6

Signs and Photographs

◦	Illusions
◦	Transport
◦	Stupid Signs
◦	Working at Height
◦	Not a good idea
◦	Electrical
◦	Wrong tool
◦	Overloaded
◦	Building sites and builders

Privacy

Site Map